Thing-A-Day Mission Statement...

Welcome to my combination test mail and "Mission Statement" for this year's Thing-A-Day.
I've done this in years past, but I've never really had a THEME for my activities, beyond maybe clearing out my half-finished-project closet. This isn't really a BAD mission to have, but this year, I received a toy in the mail JUST IN TIME to make this year's TAD very interesting.

Two weeks ago, I bid on an antique LeGare 400 sock machine on EBAY, and won it. I have now assembled it and determined that it does, in fact work (as can be seen below in the simple pair of "test socks" I managed to assemble over the weekend.) So this year, I shall try to complete 1 sock per day on my fancy machine, thus I shall learn more about it's operation, AND hopefully, end the month with 14 pairs of socks!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

What sound does a sheep make?

Moodles received a very nice but extremely confusing gift from her God-Parents for Christmas. Now, I don't want you to think for a second that I'm knocking her God-Parents. They're awesome, and not having spawn themselves, I wouldn't really expect them to consider how this gift might affect Moodles' development. In fact, even realizing the issue, I find the toy hilarious.

The gift is called a "Sleep Sheep." It is an adorable stuffed lamb with a velcro loop on the back so that it can be attached to the side of Moodles' crib. Inside the lamb, there is a talky-box that makes soothing noises to put the bebe to sleep. The sound options are: white noise, rain, ocean, and whale.

There isn't a single setting that will allow the sheep to make a noise similar to what an actual sheep might make. Admittedly, said noise wouldn't exactly be considered soothing, but still. You see my point, yes? I can see her kindergarten teacher now...

"Moodles! What noise does a sheep make?"

"eeeeEEEEEEEeeeerrm, WHOOP whoop whoop. whhhheeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee. Orm."

"Er. No. That's a whale, honey."

Which isn't to say that the sheep won't be used fairly extensively... I may just take the noise maker out of the Sheepy and stuff it into the WHALE she received as part of a different gift... Honestly, though... Why didn't anyone consider this during R&D?

On an entirely different note, this morning, I came downstairs to find 0 mice in the containment area.

Uh oh.

The cage was firmly closed, and neither of the dogs looked particularly guilty. I woke up Husband to ask him if he'd released them into the wild, even though I was extremely doubtful that he'd have done such a thing without me. He did not.

I took the cage into the kitchen for closer examination and found a hole chewed in the lid of the container next to the water bottle. So now the cage I bought is shot and I have to re-trap all four mice. Also, I think Moodles may have learned a few cuss words.

So, the trap is reset in the kitchen. No more Ms. Nice-Guy. As soon as I have the full set, they're going to the park, since they don't appear to be happy to stay in the comfortable dwelling that I provided.

In Which We Show You Our Bear Behind:

Moodles is very quickly changing from a baby into a little girl. With OPINIONS. One of those opinions is that stairs are a fun challenge. One of her other opinions is that baby gates are for sissies. Blocking off doors with plastic walls worked for about two or three weeks before Maggie showed Moodles how to move them aside, and now I cannot take my eyes off the kid for a second, or she'll be climbing the stairs to Daddy's office all by herself. This morning, I managed to get an action shot for you, and as you can see, she's wearing one of the new outfits that her Nana bought for her while we were in Pittsburgh. (Bear behind, get it? I slay me.)

While Moodles is busy developing by leaps and bounds, I had a parental first. It wasn't really a good first. On the plane coming home from Pittsburgh, I was actually horrified by an act perpetrated by my spawn.

Which isn't to say that I really blame her. Moodles is allowed to ride on my lap on the airplane until she is two - or so the airlines tell me. I saved money on our trip to Pittsburgh by booking Moodles as a ride-on-lap child. On the way out, she was very well behaved, a bit of squirming aside. Unfortunately, the way home was another story.

The plane from Pittsburgh to Detroit was crowded and even with the air-conditioning on, it was exceedingly muggy and hot. We were in a 17" wide aisle seat, next to a woman who apparently wanted nothing to do with children. Moodles was too hot to sleep, and while she remains quiet and soothed in her baby-backpack, the airline won't allow you to wear it during takeoff and landing. So I had a squirmy, hot, overtired Moodles in my lap, and I was trying very hard to keep her from touching the jewelry of the Nice Lady in the window seat. Up until now, Moodles had never met someone who she WASN'T allowed to climb on, so she really didn't understand why I wouldn't let her go look out the window and eat the Nice Lady's necklaces. To reduce her frustration and keep her entertained, I started feeding the child pretzels, which she dissolved into mush with massive quantities of drool and her new top teeth. This plan remained marginally successful until the plane started to taxi, at which point, Moodles got very excited and gleefully raspberried a mouthful of pretzel goo all over the Nice Lady.

The Nice Lady screamed and started flailing as much as a 17" wide seat would allow. I was truly horrified and tried to dab at her with a burp cloth. Moodles thought that screaming was a fun idea and started yelling about the quality of service on the plane, and thus went the rest of my 40 minute flight. Moodles was bathed in sweat, I was bathed in sweat, Moodles wet her diaper as soon as the "fasten seatbelt" sign came on, and then started howling about it rather loudly. After 4 minutes of howling that seemed like eternity, I convinced the stewardess that I could stop the howling if I was permitted to change the bebe, turbulence or no. I nearly concussed myself in the airplane lavatory, trying to change Moodles on the SMALLEST CHANGING TABLE EVER, after which, Moodles was finally dry of diaper, but extremely displeased about returning to the captivity of our seat. At least with a dry diaper, and stripped down to her onesie, she was finally able to fall asleep - five minutes before the plane landed.

Ironically, the plane from Detroit to Madison was utterly deserted, and had working air conditioning. This time, the lady across the aisle from us had been talking to Moodles in the airplane terminal and thought she was perfectly ADORABLE. She would have loved to hold my little monster. Moodles had 3 seats to herself, including the window, but was totally uninterested in the experience, as she was out cold through the 30 minute runway delay, and the rest of the ride home.

Santa Claus is Scary: Even when he's just your weird uncle.

You all probably think I'm terrible for finding this picture of my wailing daughter hilarious, but in my defense, my sister sent me a picture of her son crying on Santa's lap and that was my inspiration. (I immediately put it on my fridge.) Yes, my sense of humor is twisted. Anyway, not wanting to be left out of the Mean-Mommy-Club, I was determined to have a similar picture of Moodles to complete my Mother's set of "Crying Grandspawn Christmas Pictures." Thus, upon arriving in Pittsburgh, I had a mission: Get Moodle's Picture Taken with Santa. (See if she cries.)

We arrived in Pittsburgh a day late, due to the inevitable Holiday Airline Fiasco, so on the day we arrived, my Mom was having her annual Christmas Party, and Moodles had no time to acclimate to her new territory. She was very clingy and cautious, and didn't want ANYONE to hold her except "Mama, Mama" and "Mama, Daddy."*  My brother came home from work while the party was already underway, and made the mistake of approaching incautiously with an overly enthusiastic grin. He displayed many teeth, and Moodles decided that he was THE ENEMY - FOREVER!

The Cone of Shame in action...

From then on, she cried any time he entered the room. (This made getting the Santa shot really easy. All my brother had to do was put on the hat and hold the already screaming bebe.) There was one lady at the party who had on a pretty purple necklace that Moodles thought was the BEST. THING. EVAR. She didn't know Miss R from Adam, but she decided that she NEEDED to sit on her lap so that she could get the necklace in her belly! Noticing this, Miss R put her necklace** on my Brother, at which point Moodles was somewhat torn, but eventually decided that she could tolerate him long enough to play with the necklace. BUT ONLY IF HE HAD THE NECKLACE ON. If he came into her line of sight without it, she was all about hiding in my lap and crying.

It took my poor Brother the entire 6 days of my visit, cajoling and bribing Moodles DAILY, to get her to like him. She didn't relent until the last day. Even my friend SS, who is TERRIFIED of kids, felt bad for my brother, and bought him the Bracelet of Bribery***. Eventually the BoB and about 20 minutes worth of "airplane rides" did the trick, so my Brother was awarded the honor of carrying Moodles through the airport as we were being dropped off for our flight. Poor guy.

Apparently, Moodles has taken all my threats of eating her to heart. So, let that be a lesson to you. When smiling at babies that may not remember you, perhaps less teeth is the way to go. You never know when they might imagine you eating them.

*She has started talking, but refers to anyone who she feels safe with as "Mama." So Daddy is also "Mama" and so is Grandma. At least this way, no one feels left out that she didn't say their name first....
**Immediately re-named "the cone of shame."
***Moodles thinks that the BoB  is the Coolest Thing EVER. It's made of rubber, so she can teethe on it, BUT it has LED lights and a battery inside, so it FLASHES. She could get a seizure from it, therefore it is AWESOME!