Monday, January 3, 2011

Santa Claus is Scary: Even when he's just your weird uncle.

You all probably think I'm terrible for finding this picture of my wailing daughter hilarious, but in my defense, my sister sent me a picture of her son crying on Santa's lap and that was my inspiration. (I immediately put it on my fridge.) Yes, my sense of humor is twisted. Anyway, not wanting to be left out of the Mean-Mommy-Club, I was determined to have a similar picture of Moodles to complete my Mother's set of "Crying Grandspawn Christmas Pictures." Thus, upon arriving in Pittsburgh, I had a mission: Get Moodle's Picture Taken with Santa. (See if she cries.)

We arrived in Pittsburgh a day late, due to the inevitable Holiday Airline Fiasco, so on the day we arrived, my Mom was having her annual Christmas Party, and Moodles had no time to acclimate to her new territory. She was very clingy and cautious, and didn't want ANYONE to hold her except "Mama, Mama" and "Mama, Daddy."*  My brother came home from work while the party was already underway, and made the mistake of approaching incautiously with an overly enthusiastic grin. He displayed many teeth, and Moodles decided that he was THE ENEMY - FOREVER!

The Cone of Shame in action...
From then on, she cried any time he entered the room. (This made getting the Santa shot really easy. All my brother had to do was put on the hat and hold the already screaming bebe.) There was one lady at the party who had on a pretty purple necklace that Moodles thought was the BEST. THING. EVAR. She didn't know Miss R from Adam, but she decided that she NEEDED to sit on her lap so that she could get the necklace in her belly! Noticing this, Miss R put her necklace** on my Brother, at which point Moodles was somewhat torn, but eventually decided that she could tolerate him long enough to play with the necklace. BUT ONLY IF HE HAD THE NECKLACE ON. If he came into her line of sight without it, she was all about hiding in my lap and crying.

It took my poor Brother the entire 6 days of my visit, cajoling and bribing Moodles DAILY, to get her to like him. She didn't relent until the last day. Even my friend SS, who is TERRIFIED of kids, felt bad for my brother, and bought him the Bracelet of Bribery***. Eventually the BoB and about 20 minutes worth of "airplane rides" did the trick, so my Brother was awarded the honor of carrying Moodles through the airport as we were being dropped off for our flight. Poor guy.

Apparently, Moodles has taken all my threats of eating her to heart. So, let that be a lesson to you. When smiling at babies that may not remember you, perhaps less teeth is the way to go. You never know when they might imagine you eating them.

*She has started talking, but refers to anyone who she feels safe with as "Mama." So Daddy is also "Mama" and so is Grandma. At least this way, no one feels left out that she didn't say their name first....
**Immediately re-named "the cone of shame."
***Moodles thinks that the BoB  is the Coolest Thing EVER. It's made of rubber, so she can teethe on it, BUT it has LED lights and a battery inside, so it FLASHES. She could get a seizure from it, therefore it is AWESOME!


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